Louie

My second evaluation was scheduled last Sunday. I was told before that if I would not be recommended for regular employment, I  would be asked to find another job prior to the sixth month of my employment that would conclude the probationary period. And so, when the editor handed me the evaluation sheet, I immediately looked for the part that says:

Please check one:

_recommended for regular employment

_proceed to next evaluation

_terminate employment

I am not sure if those are the exact words but the thought is more or less the same. To my surprise, the editor left that section blank. He asked me if I still wanted to proceed and give my work another shot. He said that the beat  I am assigned to is challenging compared to others where stories are readily available. For my beat, I will have to dig deeper and exert extra effort to be able to find something to write about. He told me that he knows I am trying but that much more can still done to improve my outputs. He added that I must work on time management. This did not  come as a a surprise. I seldom meet the 5 pm deadline.

To his question, I replied:"Ok,". But I am not sure if I made the right decision. I am still up for the challenge but I am not sure if I am forcing something that is not going to work out anyway. I am scared of what  would happen next if my outputs do not show improvements asked of me. I would definitely get the boot when that happens. And while I always say that getting sacked is not exactly the end of the world as everything has a bright side, it would still mean that I fell short on the tasks I have to fulfill.  Will it  be easy to find another job?

I know that apart from God, nobody else can help me but myself. The reliable absolute boyfriend* that saves the day is fictional. I have one more shot. Let's just see what will happen.

*absolute boyfriend - Tenjo Night, a robot dedicated to love from the Japanese series Absolute Boyfriend