Moving Again and Again
Just when I thought I would finally be able to stay for a year in a beat, I was informed that I might be or I will be moving again. I say might be because I am still in denial. I don't want to move. I want to stay where I am now and I wish there was a way to stop it from happening, at least for now.
I started covering the Finance beat in February and I remember being scared about moving to a new beat and feeling bad about not being able to learn as much in the private banks beat then.
"I feel really terrible about giving up the private banks assigment because, believe it or not, I have started to sort of like it. There are still so many things I can learn from covering that and it is not going to happen now," - a portion of my February 6 entry read. I can learn more about the banking sector now since I might be (still in denial) moving to the BSP beat.
I remember even wishing before for someone to be assigned in the Finance beat so that I can go back to the private banks beat. Gerard, one of my colleagues told me that when the time comes for me to move again and leave the Finance beat, I would not want to go anymore and he is totally right.
Being in my beat may be tough at times, especially when I get text message like this: "Please try to get a page one story there," or a get phone call with the person on the other line saying:"Let's see if we can put this on page one, if not you'll have to look for another one," but when you get the stories done, complete with all the sides that you need, it is a totally different feeling. I feel elated when I know I've done my part and the output is satisfactory. I like my beat because I now know things I did not really understand before. I like my beat because I have made friends there. I like my beat because it has pushed me to work even harder. There are still other stories I want to write and if I move, someone else will be writing them.
I have been in the beat for seven months and I feel it is not enough for me to really know everything about the beat. I need at least a year. I want to stay here for at least a year since I have never been in any assignment for a long time. If only there was a way to negotiate. I could of course tell my editor about how I feel but that is all I can do and it would not change anything. Like cabinet secretaries that serve at the pleasure of the president, I work at the pleasure of editors.
I guess what makes moving even harder for me to accept is because of the person I like. I will not see him anymore when I move even if the BSP building is connected to the Department of Finance. I don't get to see him often even if we are in the same building now, what more when I move to the other building? Why is he important anyway? Well, because in a way, I've found another motivation to work harder and make sure what I write is right. He reads my articles (that was what he told me) and it would be embarrasing to have errors in there. He knows almost everything going on in the department. With me moving, I would be going back to the way things were, going to work with nothing much to look forward to but work.
I am not sure when the changes would take effect. Next week at the earliest I guess. I intend to talk to my editor and tell her about how I feel. It may not change anything but so what? I need to try right?