Louie

I have always had problems with time management. Lately, it has gone from bad to worse.  While I am able to come on time for meetings, the problem is with my writing. Since I moved to a new assignment, it has to taken me longer to get started. It has been bothering me too and I think I have it all figured out now. Well, at least why it is taking me longer. 

I can’t start because I am unsure. I am not sure if I got the right angle. I am not sure if the angle I have in mind is the best one to push. And because I am not sure, I am so anxious. I am worried I might commit a mistake. I am worried I might be late. I am worried I might miss something important. I am worried about getting called out for a mistake. I am worried about failing. With all these thoughts running in my head, I think you can tell what happens next. I end up rushing and missing deadlines. 

Where is all the self-doubt coming from? Well, the new assignment happens to be the same as my first beat ever. It is the same as the first assignment I got as a newbie reporter. And when I covered it for the first time, I didn’t think I would last in the industry because I barely met my daily quota. In spite of that, I became a regular employee after the six month probationary status. My editor then told me right after after that, they were moving me to another assignment where they think I will do better. That was more than 10 years ago. 

Friends who are aware of my situation told me I am covering the assignment as a different person now. And I agree. I am older and more knowledgeable now. But I still feel anxious. 

I read somewhere that writing about our feelings can make us feel better afterwards. So, this is me taking a shot at that.