I have always had problems with time management. Lately, it has gone from bad to worse.  While I am able to come on time for meetings, the problem is with my writing. Since I moved to a new assignment, it has to taken me longer to get started. It has been bothering me too and I think I have it all figured out now. Well, at least why it is taking me longer. 

I can’t start because I am unsure. I am not sure if I got the right angle. I am not sure if the angle I have in mind is the best one to push. And because I am not sure, I am so anxious. I am worried I might commit a mistake. I am worried I might be late. I am worried I might miss something important. I am worried about getting called out for a mistake. I am worried about failing. With all these thoughts running in my head, I think you can tell what happens next. I end up rushing and missing deadlines. 

Where is all the self-doubt coming from? Well, the new assignment happens to be the same as my first beat ever. It is the same as the first assignment I got as a newbie reporter. And when I covered it for the first time, I didn’t think I would last in the industry because I barely met my daily quota. In spite of that, I became a regular employee after the six month probationary status. My editor then told me right after after that, they were moving me to another assignment where they think I will do better. That was more than 10 years ago. 

Friends who are aware of my situation told me I am covering the assignment as a different person now. And I agree. I am older and more knowledgeable now. But I still feel anxious. 

I read somewhere that writing about our feelings can make us feel better afterwards. So, this is me taking a shot at that. 

Posted by Louie on September 18, 2022 at 10:08 AM | Add a Comment

I am back in this space because of a mistake I just realized I made at work. By writing, I am hoping I can get it off my mind as I try to sleep.

I wrote about a company's financial performance and understated their sales yesterday. Not intentional of course. I merely copied the figures on the table provided to me. But I missed an important detail. The numbers should be expressed in millions and not thousands. 

Messaged a friend about my realization. I told her I want to cry and disappear. Added that I feel so incompetent because I should have realized the mistake while I was writing. But  I also told her I know crying would not make any difference.

She told me she would feel the same way if this happened to her. She said it was an honest mistake and I should not go down the hole of negativity. Rather than mope, she suggested I watch Twenty Five, Twenty One again and to inform my boss tomorrow morning of the mistake.

I can't watch a Kdrama at this hour.

But I will definitely tell my boss. I already had that in mind even before the advice came. It is not a good position to be in, especially in my line of work. But I am reminding myself I am human. I make mistakes just like everybody. And the way to move forward is to acknowledge it and learn from it. 

Posted by Louie on April 26, 2022 at 02:12 AM | Add a Comment

I just finished hosting a fitting for a friend's wedding and was again reminded that I am single. Not that there is anything wrong with being single. There are advantages, with freedom being on top of the list. I would like to think I don't need another person to complete me. But sometimes, and this is one of those days, I just wonder what it would be like to be with someone you want to be with and who actually wants to be there. I don't want to be with someone just for the sake of it. But I also don't want to be complacent and think I have all the time in the world because I know I don't.

Posted by Louie on March 17, 2019 at 11:03 PM | 2 comments

Have you ever thought of what happens when someone misses a flight? My best friend Mika told me missing her flight is her worst nightmare. I've never really thought about missed flights before until earlier today, when I experienced it.

So, what exactly happened?

My flight to Hong Kong was scheduled to depart ‪at 2:40 p.m.‬ I asked Gayzelle, a friend I am traveling with, what time she would be at the airport and she said before 12. She told me to do web check-in to be sure. I did as advised. I aimed to leave ‪at around 10:30 to 11‬ to give allowance for the traffic.

While I was preparing to leave ‪at around 10:22‬, I got a text message from Sarah, the media relations officer of PLDT, for an event happening ‪at 11:35‬ at SMX. I texted my editor and asked if we could send a reporter. She asked if I can make it. I told her I am on leave and have a flight to catch. She asked me to ask another reporter if he could cover. I He can't because of a hospital appointment. Editor told me to check with another reporter who also couldn't make it because she lives far from the event's venue. Editor told me we won't send anyone since it was short notice anyway.

The whole time I was checking if other reporters could cover the event, I got really stressed and worried about what my editor might think of me.

I left the house ‪at around 11:15‬. I reminded myself during the trip to the airport not to be stressed out anymore. So I was in a good mood until we reached the gas station and I realized I forgot to bring my jacket and scarf. I checked Waze and the time. Based on Waze's estimates, it would only take one hour to get to the airport. There were no signs of traffic build-up anywhere as well. Told my Dad we should go back home to get my stuff because I needed the jacket. Somehow, I also felt like I had to go back.

So, we went back. By the time we got out of the village, the traffic situation had changed and Waze was giving me a different picture. According to the app, I would get to the airport ‪at 2 p.m.‬ I tried to stay positive until we reached Edsa and the traffic has slowed into a crawl.

I arrived at the airport 20 minutes before my flight's scheduled departure. The attendant at the counter told me I could no longer take that flight because of my check-in baggage. I told her I'll just take the next flight. Taking the next flight meant I had to pay P10,000 and wait for about four or five hours. I took the next flight because I couldn't just abandon my friend and I had to see Big Bang. 

I told my Dad what happpened while waiting for the next flight. He told me to move on. I told him I will. I should also learn from it. I will not be late for flights next time.

Posted by Louie on January 22, 2017 at 02:00 AM | Add a Comment

A year ago today, my friend Riza or Zai TO and I had just returned to Manila from our bittersweet trip to Tokyo. Bittersweet because her brother passed away before we made it back and because I learned I was not on the same page as the person I went to Tokyo for. 

It was Riza's last trip to Japan. Who knew it would be her last?

She was always telling me before of how everything is temporary and how I should not be scared of rejection, but of regret. She also told me I should believe I could get what I want to make it a reality.

I still believe in all that. 

Arigato, Riza-san. 

Posted by Louie on January 10, 2017 at 05:20 PM | Add a Comment
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